Albert Camus, The Fall (via bbanditt)
this could be considered one of the reasons why i don’t like people seeing my sketchbooks
#i used to beg you to listen to me but my words didn’t ever reach you #only your back and thighs and torso #never your face because we never looked at each other eye to eye #i was always on my knees #hunched over on the floor gasping for air cool the burst of warm pain spreading despite protective gear #and isn’t it strange now that i’m standing in front of a different pitcher #different from you in a thousand different ways #we face each other #but still not eye to eye #when i talk my lips shape words and my breath carries meaning #and somewhere between his ears and brain something is lost #and his lips shape words haltingly and syllabyles die in his throat and i am so angry #hope gives into a despairing feeling #different from how despite despair i had hoped two years ago #how frustrating this is #has it always been this difficult connecting to pitchers?
A man in the grocery store line today approached me and said, “Sir, when I first saw you I was extremely attracted to you, but then I noticed that you are a boy. How… I mean, why do you dress so provocatively?”
I responded, “Well, in today’s world the majority of the straight male race view women as objects, or something that belongs to them. I dress provocatively because it attracts the attention of men in a sexual and OBJECTIVE way. However, when realized that I am actually male, they often become confused, disgusted, upset or all of the above. By inflicting this minor emotional damaged upon the ego of a man raised by twisted societal gender norms, maybe, just maybe the individual will think twice before viewing another woman with an objective attitude and sense of belonging. No woman, belongs to ANYONE. Male or female, the equality of human beings needs to be a priority. It is something worth dressing up for.”
I AM NOT KIDDING. The woman behind me, the female cashier, the old lady bagging groceries and the woman in front of me who was talking on the phone STOPPED, …. and proceeded to gasp and clap. The man shook my hand, told me to have a blessed day and then said, “excuse me ladies, I need to visit my daughter.”
…. I was shaking by the time I walked out of the store.
- Elliott Alexzander
nice puffy pants tho / Shut up. / gay / You’re ruining it. / lol